I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
