Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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