Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
