omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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