You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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