PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
