I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
