...so i touched it.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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