SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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