Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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