When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
