can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
