my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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