So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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