I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
