the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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