I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
