I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
