What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The beer is more important than you right now.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
