I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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