Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
