So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
