so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
This is my life. Enjoy the view
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
