Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
