wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
