Where is the hickey?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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