we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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