that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
