Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
