so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
