can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
