After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Randomize
