I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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