I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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