Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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