I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
