oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
