quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
