if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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