Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
