I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
