ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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