its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
