Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
