I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
