Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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