p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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