i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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