So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
