I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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