I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
