who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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