is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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