Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
