i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
